On earth, every child is born with distinct personalities and interests and it is unfair to differentiate them by comparing your kids with others. Why does it matter if one child is brainy or not? Maybe, the not brainy one is good in sports or dance or any other specific activity and the brainy one is just into the books. Heart of every child is very sensitive, nonetheless how they seem from their outer behavior.
Most of the mothers say and heard these things like:
“Have you heard about Savita auntie’s daughter,
she scored such good marks in her school,
she is also in your class, you both study same,
then why didn’t you scored that better?
Have you seen Rahul, he is so obedient and listen every time to her mom, why don’t you be like him? ”
These talks are very common in every home and can be heard from the mouth of every Indian mother.
And the most common reply that is heard is:
“I’m like this only.
Why don’t you adopt Rahul, if he is so good … all the time you are praising him only?”
There are some goods and bads both of comparing kids with others. Let’s discuss the bads first. Comparing your child with others can make them feel-
- Demotivated: Comparison will make them feel low and this will affect their behavior, they will talk rudely or angrily, or child will stop obeying their parents or start arguing.
- Lower their self-esteem: Constant comparison will make the sensitive one’s feel inferior and in future life, they will never gather courage to speak up for themselves even when they are right.
- Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Constant comparison will make them feel that they are not good enough and they will stop trying because they will think- “Why to bother if I can’t succeed”.
But if, comparison is done in a healthy conversation, then it can inspire a spark of little light in them to do better in their life. Sit with your child, observe them, understand them, praise them for their good interest and motivate them by saying things like- “
So, what if you scored less this time, do hard work and next time you will score much better than Savita Auntie’s daughter.” And the child will come up with-
- Motivated & Inspired: Kids will perform much better than earlier.
- Enthusiasm of doing better: Passion for progressing positively in life.
- Will overcome their lows easily: Child will forget about their low points and will gain confidence.
There is no necessity that a child should be like his friends or siblings, every child is unique with gifted talent.