Pubescent is an age that is need to be understand very carefully… It’s the age of rebellion, romance, fantasy dreaming, outings with friends, having new crushes daily, following trending fashion and much more… Every adult have passed through this stage and when they grow up then they realize that how unusual they were… and teenage memories always bring smile on the face… 🙂
Adolescent is not only about fantasy and dreams, it is a very sensitive age when there is an explosion of hormones which brings many changes in their body and it made them behave in a different manner. Little things make them either very excited with happiness and in the very next moment they feel very low like this is the end of everything. At this age teenagers need special attention from their parents because little negligence or strictness beyond the limit can ruin everything and can affect kids badly.
Every parent wants the best for their kids, it just that parenting style differs from parent to parent. Some are more lenient and some are more strict, some give very much freedom to their kids and some just captivate their kids like a prisoner. Parenting style also depends on how the mother father is parented by their own parents in their teenage because generally, people follow what they have seen. On the other hand, some are very different, they think that the biasness through which they have been gone in their teenage, they will never let that happen with their kids.
Now, when it comes to freedom and restrictions over teens while parenting, then there is a limit over both, and people with both the perceptions exist in our society.
Let’s talk about being restricting to kids…. so, what’s your limit of imposing restrictions on the kids…are you using these types of dialogues…
Then you are ruling over your kids with Draconian Laws.
Situations when given Freedom becomes Over Freedom…
Giving kids their own car… credit card… Kids using the internet over the laptop all the time and busy with their phone… pampering them with extra pocket money and giving them money whenever they ask for it without enquiring why they need it …. allowing them to take night outs without even knowing where they are going to stay… Not knowing the kid’s friends and believing in them blindly…
These are some examples of giving over freedom given to the kids.
Well, all the teenagers are in a very hurry to become adults, their age is like that… And becoming an adult doesn’t mean being responsible for them, they just want to become adults because they think that it will give them freedom to do anything.
And if the kids are restricted too much, then the chances are maximum that they get spoiled as soon as they are exposed to outer world or they become dumb like a frog in the well.
Here are few things that every parent should take care while parenting teens:
Setting Up Some Ground Rules:
Parents should work on these rules from the very beginning of their kid’s childhood. Like behaving in public, homework deadlines, buying the toy they see at shops every time, visiting places..etc. The best way to set up the ground rules is by talking, conversing with them and telling them that they are not going to get anything if the neighbor’s kids are also getting the same thing. You are only going to get that thing if you need it. Same goes with the phone, if your kid wants a mobile just because their friends have it.. has no need. Always stick to the ground rules like time of coming home, going out for the outing with friends, watching televisions, using the internet, laptop… sometimes rules can be changed if the parents feel so… on a request or any special occasion.
Giving Space To Teens & Rein It Whenever You Feel Necessary:
Teenage is a very special time of the kids when they should be given proper space because at that time lots of things are going in their mind and they need to sort them out by themselves. But sometimes if the things are going out of hand, then parents have the full right to rein that space and know that what their child is up to, because at last remember one thing “Who is the adult?”, Be firm but not cruel.
Talk With Your Child About Having Freedom:
Ask your child that what they will do if they have the freedom, and discuss with them consequences of any wrong thing that they are planning to do, how badly it can impact them. Tell them if their study is getting affected then their weekend outings can be cut out, disrespectful behavior will lead to no pocket money or they will be grounded at home. Tough love is necessary to build your child’s right personality.
Stop It, When It Is Getting Repeated:
Coming home late, talking on phones for long, dropping grades, undesirable behavior if these things are getting repeated again and again then stop it at that very moment and question them. Because their constant behavior like this will make a difficult situation for parents in future.
Do not over control your kids, and at the same time don’t give them too much freedom…
Teens are rebellious, so the best way to guide them is by talking with them… don’t shout… don’t get angry… don’t beat… because in this way you are only making them do anything forcefully… earn their trust.. converse with them, understand them… make yourself understand them…
Teens respects their parents and their rules, when parents earns a certain level of trust in their kids.