Now I am describing an image of a woman who is- a self-determined, career oriented, beautiful, intelligent, confident, strong, independent, knows what is right and wrong for her, makes her own decision, her decisions are never influenced by any other person, knows how to deal with bad peoples, she faces every problem related to her bravely and slaps up with a good reply to every of her contender, never get emotional or worried just because of little troubles… in one word she is blithe and happy-go-lucky type of person who is living with her partner or alone doesn’t matter.But one day she feels changes in herself not just physically but also mentally, and she gives birth to a newborn baby. And her whole world is changed. These changes can be noticed in the behavior of every mother.At this stage of life, a working woman has to face the biggest challenge in her life, giving priority to her career OR her responsibility towards her newborn baby.
Most of the mothers must have gone through this phase and must be heard many taunting from the relatives like:
“Enough of your work and career, now stop everything and just focus on the baby and home errands.
Now if you are done with your career and all, then pay attention to your house and baby.
A woman’s world is her baby and her husband, stop doing the job, your husband is here to earn money and food.”
And sometimes husbands even say- “Stop working and now child should be your first priority”. Why the child is the only responsibility of the mother but not of the father, just because he is born from the womb of her mother. In our Indian Society, the mentality of the age old relatives can’t be changed because they are following what they have been seeing for a long time. But the husband should understand equally his responsibility towards his baby.
Don’t know how every woman reacts to it, but yes it hurts a lot to those women, who are working earlier before the birth of the baby and later they are pressurized to quit their career.
Some of the common challenges that Indian woman face to choose between career and child nurturing are:
Risk to Child’s health:
After the birth of the newborn, the most necessary thing that he requires is her mother’s milk, warmth, care, and nourishment. Newborns are very sensitive after their birth and up to 6 months, they need special care and attention. Any carelessness can risk the health and life of the baby. So, it’s better to stay close to your baby, and with the support of the husband, nurturing the baby can be easier. No mountains will fall in six months and after the six months, you can still find a good job if you have the spirit and confidence. And still, if the job is very important, you can take work from home or appoint a good caretaker or call upon grandparents or close trustable relatives for taking care of your baby in your absence. Or the best option is you can work as part time, in this way you will be in touch with your work and can give proper attention to your baby also.
After the birth of the baby woman’s body is changed very much, especially if the baby is from caesarian delivery. Woman’s body becomes very weak and they are advice to bed rest. Well if the baby is from normal delivery then the mother can recover fast by taking proper bed rest, nutritious and healthy diet advised from the doctor, regular exercise recommended by the doctor, don’t put on weight and be lazy. And if the baby is from the caesarian delivery keep yourself warm and follow every single advice from your doctor to recover fast and give your body time get stable, because if you want to pursue your career and take care of your baby both, then you must keep yourself healthy. But if there is major health issue better consult OB/GYN specialist and try to take work from home.
Those women are very lucky, who are not pressurized for from the relatives for quitting their job opportunities even after living in the Indian society, but who are pressurized, for them making career decision is a very big challenge. At this stage, a mother should think what is right for their baby by keeping the baby’s and her self’s health at the first priority. Discuss with your husband and then make a right decision, because society is not going to come and take care of you and your baby … they are just meant to do the babbling thing and all.
Financially strong or weak:
If the family is financially strong enough, then if the mother doesn’t work for few months it will not matter at all. But in some houses husband and wife are both working to balance their household. And it’s hard to manage the house on the income of one person and leaving the baby alone is also not possible. At this time choosing between baby and career is very difficult. In this condition control your extra unwanted expenditure like shopping clothes or gadgets, having lavish parties, eating outside and all the other spending on small-pearl like things. Because baby will have extra requirements and they are much important than your lavish lifestyle. Trying to take work from home or joining some part time job will help financially. And after the baby is big enough to leave at crèche then continue with your job again.
It Can Hurt Your Husband’s Pride:
Generally, it is seen that after the marriage, women are not allowed to work and as soon as the baby is born they are forced to be a house lady, just because it is against the husband’s pride. Husband’s think- “as long as I can earn enough, what is the need of you going out and baby should be mother’s first priority”. It’s not about just making money, it’s about being independent, doing what you love. In this situation talk and discuss with your husband and make them realize and understand. Otherwise, the best option is to attend counselling of a wise person with your husband who can make him understand that baby is the responsibility of both mother and father and pursuing career after the baby is born is not wrong. And if he loves you he will definitely understand your feelings.