By reading the title of this article, a thought must be popped in the mind of most of the single mothers only 8 challenges. Yes, raising a child as being a single mother in the Indian Society is very difficult and no number can define the total number challenges. To raise a child individually, a person has to go through many hardships, and these problems and hardships are different, depending mom to mom.
Most of the single mothers must familiar with these lines-
“She is living alone with her kid; God knows where is her husband.
Is this her child with her ex-husband or illegitimate ones?
She comes so late every night; god knows what she is doing.”
Whether you live in a city or suburban area, thinking of Indian Society will be like this only. Very few people see a single mother with respect and dignity. And due to this, a single mother has to go through many hardships in daily life along with her kids.
Here is a brief summary of struggle, problems, suggestions, and inspiration for all the single moms.
Grip Over Finance:
The reason behind being a single parent can be anything- divorce, death, adoption etc. But relying on the ex-spouse or relatives to raise the kid is not a solution. Before the finances get out of control, get a grip over it by maintaining a proper budget of the month. Because handling the finance alone can be stressful so it’s better to use your skills and start making money on your own and if you are well-educated enough than getting employed is the best option, instead of depending on others. Start doing long term investment for your kid’s better future.
Always Ready with A Backing Support:
As being a single parent backing support is an essential thing. Yes, you have to be strong, because your kid is watching you. You can’t cry or yell in front of them. Befriend with the most reliable and trustable person, someone who is very close to you, with whom you can share your feelings when you feel overwhelmed, drop your kids to them in an emergency, ask financial or general help in case of urgency. That backing support can be your office colleague, an old college friend, your neighbor, some close relatives, your sister or brother or anyone in whom you have faith blindly.
Absence of Father:
Father has equal importance in the upbringing of a kid as a mother has. But if you are raising the kid alone, then the mother has to play the role of both, father as well as mother. As we know the father is always known for their discipline and rules in the house. So as being a single mother you have to maintain the discipline, so that, there is fear in the heart of kid before doing anything wrong. Mother has to be tough from the cover and soft from the core.
Responsibility Makes Mother Isolated:
Being a single mom can make you feel jailed in the chains of responsibilities and which will lead to isolation. At some moments of life, you will feel the absence of a companion or life partner with you, but if you are taking responsibility as a load of heavy rock on your head and walking away from these feelings, then you’ll definitely feel isolated and frustrated. Face everything as a part of life with courage and meet new people, make friends and try to make your life as happening as it can be, by keeping up your kids at the priority. If you think that you have met someone, with whom you can start your life again, then don’t run away, give a chance to that relation and test how strong your bond with that person is. And then make any decision.
Decision Making is a very crucial thing for a single mother. And to deal with it is really very important for the kid’s better future. Before making any decision think about the consequence and results of it in the future, make different probabilities of the consequences in your mind and then decide what is right and wrong for your child. And at last, if you are still confused, then place yourself of a righteous father, and think from a man’s perspective, just think that if your father has to decide this for you, then what would be his decision and then make your final decision.
Lack of Time for Your Kids:
Even though you have a busy schedule, you have electricity or water bill to pay off, you have laundry to do, or you have any important office assignment, don’t forget about making time from your busy schedule for your kids. You are the only person called family to your kid, so try to be present at every important event of your kid’s life, talk with them, share with them, try to know what they are hiding from you. Pay full attention to your kid’s every habit and make your child feel that, you are always there for them.
Lack of time for yourself:
Even though you are very busy with your kid’s responsibility, but don’t forget to make time for yourself. Even if it’s painting your nails or having a body massage, just go for it, it will make you happy and fill fuel of enthusiasm in your tank of soul. And if you are refueled you will respond to your kids more cheerily and that will make you and your kids happier.
Stop being guilty of not giving your fullest to your kid. Just stay positive, stay strong and think you are doing the best and move forward with this positive attitude in your life. Try to be your kid’s role model and just delete the word of guilt and regret from your vocab.